Do not go Commando
Facebook can be delightfully entertaining and incredibly frustrating, all at the same time. It is a source of misinformation and insightful commentary. It is a connection to long lost friends and to people trying to scam you or take your last dollar.
Today I came across a re-post from a friend in Auburn. I do not know who to attribute the comments to so I will just say upfront that these are not my original thoughts, though I wish they were.
For most of us, these are the most unusual times of our lives. During the most horrific public health crisis of the past 100 years, we are arguing about whether to wear masks or not, even though scientifically they have been proven to be an important deterrent to the Coronavirus.
My friend’s post recognizes that sometimes a serious issue is best dealt with humor. In this case, her post suggests that you should treat your face mask like your underwear. These are the comments in the order they were posted, along with some of my own thoughts.
1. Do not touch or adjust, especially public. Sometimes this is unavoidable. Just be as discreet as possible. People are watching.
2. Do not borrow or lend. I cannot even begin to think of lending my underwear to anyone. I did not even do that with my brother when we were kids.
3. Make sure the fit is tight but comfortable. If it is too tight there will be obvious issues. With masks or underwear, you know what I mean.
4. Make sure it is CLEAN. We all grew up hearing our mothers tell us about having clean underwear. What if you are in wreck? It could ruin your family’s reputation if you had dirty underwear in the emergency room.
5. Wear the right side out. Only once in my life did I discover that I was wearing my underwear inside out. I have discovered that twice with my masks.
6. If it is damp, change it. Having kept our 19-month-old grandson this past week, we are very aware of damp underwear. Sopping wet might be a term better used to describe some of his diapers. Change your mask before it becomes that heavy.
7. Do not go Commando. For the prim and proper among us, going Commando means doing without the undergarments. No briefs. No boxers. In the minds of some, total freedom.
There are dozens of jokes and funny comments about going Commando. The truth is that when applied to masks, it is not that funny. Statistics and science show that masks are effective in preventing the spread of the Coronavirus. It is not an infringement of your rights; it is a responsibility to your fellow man.
As the COVID-19 positive cases skew up in this area, it is important to do your part. Hand washing. Social Distancing. Avoiding large groups.
The simplest item of all is just do not go Commando. If you must leave something off to prove your manhood, let it be your boxers or briefs. Wear your mask. It is the better choice of the two.
Dan Ponder can be reached at email@example.com